Sunday, April 8, 2012
Wait and See
I've delayed writing this post as long as possible because I just can't quite process what to make of Friday's appointment with Dr. R. He was great as usual, but also couldn't really offer me the reassurance I was hoping for at this point. We talked about some options and some of the potential risks. I'm not going to go into detail here because honestly I'm not ready to really talk about them.
But for right now he doesn't see any harm in waiting 6 weeks and having another ultrasound and blood test. That will hopefully give us some more information to base decisions on - either something will have changed (which would be bad) or nothing will have changed (which is good but doesn't really tell us as much).
I will admit that I am not handling this "wait and see" game nearly as well as I wish. Somehow it was easier between the first and second surgery. Maybe because I honestly wasn't prepared for this at all? I really was confident going into that CT...and then I was even pretty sure that the ultrasound would clear everything up...and I was still holding out hope that Dr. R would make it all better. But none of those things turned out the way I wanted and now I'm not sure where to go from here.
For now, I ask that you keep up the prayers. Thank goodness this all happened during my favorite time in the church year. Being at church so often has been incredibly soothing for my anxiety. And tomorrow I will rejoice in the resurrection of a Savior who suffered and died for ME (and you!). I will remember that He did that because He loves me and will protect me, even if it means sacrificing his own life for me.
He's got all of this under control...