Friday, November 18, 2011

Calm Down

Those were to words that my new doctor said about 52 times during our appointment today.

"Calm down"

He wasn't being patronizing, he was being unbelievably reassuring.

He wants to wait.

He wants to see all the slides, labs and tissue samples from my first hospital - so that the specialized Gyn Pathologist at the new hospital can look at them all again. He wants to send me for a full CAT scan.

And he wants us all to calm down.

He is not worried that waiting a few weeks is going to make any difference in my health or outcomes. He told us that the chance that the ruptured cyst/tumor/whatever from my first surgery is the least of our concerns right now. He wants me relax and heal before moving forward with any treatment.

He was very firm that a second surgery is almost a given. He explained that it is necessary to "stage" the cancer. (Determine if it is Stage 1-4.) But while the other hospital lumped a hysterectomy into the staging process, Dr. R did not. He said that during the second surgery he will take samples from a lot of other areas in my abdomen and examine my uterus and remaining ovary. Then after doing all of those things, he will decide if the hysterectomy is necessary.

It will all be part of the same surgery - Its a little nerve wrecking to know that I'll have to fall asleep not knowing if I'll wake up with them or not. But I felt much more reassured that he would only take them out if it was completely necessary.

I have another appointment in exactly 2 weeks. In the next two weeks he will go through all the old information and the new CAT scan. Then we will talk about treatment. He says that a second surgery probably won't occur until after Christmas.

While waiting feels a little like prolonging the agony - I'm actually really relieved. I'm relieved to know that I get to spend some time healing. I am relieved to know that I get to have a normal Thanksgiving (and Black Friday with Melanie!) and Christmas. I'm relieved that I have time to think and get used to all of what is in store for me.

So, all of you can calm down too okay? :) But don't stop all the prayers, good thoughts, and well wishes - those are still needed! I'm so thankful for all the visitors and food and support! I'm trying to get through all the emails and Facebook messages that have been sent the last few days - you'll all hopefully hear from me soon! Plus, I'll keep updating the blog with any and all news.

Love,
Rachel

3 comments:

  1. So glad to hear the good news! Sounds like you have an awesome doctor, and I'm glad you went with your good sense and instincts and declined to have surgery right that minute.

    OK, so you MUST send out Christmas cards that say something about Christmas with your uterus. ;)

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  2. Rachel! I am just catching up now and I want you to know that I am sending so much love and light your way. I'll be keeping you in my prayers like crazy. If you need anything, you've got my digits. Thinking of you. <3 you much.

    -Courtney (foxforcefive)

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  3. Rachel,

    Years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. That first day it was frightening.

    The next morning I awoke and asked myself, what is different about this morning from yesterday? Answer: I know my enemy. From that moment forward I was no longer identified by the disease that threatened my life. I was someone who had knowledge of what was threatening my life.

    That knowledge meant freedom. I was free to be specific with my Heavenly Father. He already knew what I needed, but now I could be more direct in speaking to Him in prayer. I had freedom in the choices I made for treatment. That knowledge freed me to even make choices for treatment. Cancer is most dangerous when it remains in secrecy. So now that it was revealed, it no longer had a hold over me.

    Your doctor says, "Calm down." So very much like Ps 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." Your enemy has been revealed. Your Heavenly Father knew about it before your doctors discovered it. He has been holding you in His hands for a long time now. The only difference between you now and two weeks ago is that you know what He's known for some time. Daily bread comes by way of medicines and caregivers' hands. Now that you know, "Calm down," is indeed good medicine.

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Your support and prayers are so important to me!